Hope

I woke up yesterday morning and went outside to get the newspaper. As I read the first article on the front page, the words, "Three-year old twins from Oregon, their parents and grandparents were among nine people aboard a sightseeing plane that crashed and caught fire Thursday in a heavily forested area outside Ketchikan, Alaska." caught my attention. Three-year old twins - I automatically thought of any twins I knew of that were three years old. There is a set of twins in my daughter's class. Then as I read the names of the twins, my heart sank and I ran up the stairs and asked Matt what the names of the twins in Allison's infant room class were. We both realized that the family in the article was the same family we knew from Allison's class.

I was in shock and had to talk to someone about it. So I called a friend who knew the family as well and we both tried to process the reality that the boy twin and the parents were killed in the crash. Only the twin girl and her grandmother survived out of the family. I keep thinking how awful for this little girl to be left behind. I can't even imagine if my whole family was killed and I was the only survivor. I have to stop thinking about this subject because then I start questioning my faith. Why did this happen? I know if the little girl survives (she's still in critical condition) she is going to be a stronger person. I know some good will come out of such tragedy.

Time Flies

Has it really been nine months since I've last posted in this blog? Holy cow! I'm so sorry. Well, to sum up the past nine months - I quit my at home computer job and began subbing at the CDC. I loved working with the children so much that I decided to pursue an AA degree in Early Childhood Education. I took two classes during winter term and decided going to school, working part time, and having a family is too much for my mental state. So instead of taking classes, I continued subbing Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for three months. Then I applied for a teacher position the end of June. Yay - I got hired as a support teacher in Transition A room (2-3 year olds). I am excited for the new school year. Allison will be in preschool and Isaiah will be in the toddler room.

Enough about me! Matt built the kids a beautiful play house! It only took a couple of months to complete. They love playing in it. Allison picked out the yellow paint for the interior walls. The exterior matches our house and the shed including the red door.

Isaiah started walking everywhere a couple days before the 4th of July. Now he's running and chasing Allison. They have been devouring the strawberries growing in our backyard. We hang out at the parks a lot this summer. No vacations for us this summer. We did manage to go to the Oregon Coast Aquarium with Matt's parents and I took the kids up to Seattle to hang out with Amaya and Logic. We are still trying to go camping some time. Matt painted and put up crown molding in the living room and dining room (which is actually the play room). He also painted the downstair's bathroom but I didn't like the color (too poopy) and so at this moment in time he is repainting it. I am hoping he'll be able to clean out the garage before the rain starts so I can park my car in there.

Well, I think I've got you up to date on us. Hopefully, it won't be another nine months before I post again.

Love!

Mini Me

The dress that Allison is wearing is the dress I wore 29 years ago. I wore it when I came from South Korea to America. If you cut Allison's hair to her chin, that is what I looked like. I will put up a copy of the news article with a picture of me and the lady who brought me over here.

New Job!

Oh yeah, so I got a new job and quit my old one. Yay! My new job is subbing at the child development center that my children go to. I had my orientation last Friday and my first subbing day is next Wednesday. So this week I get to catch up on all my 'to do' lists. One being, my blog!

Thanks, Mom!

I know! I haven't written in ages. I think I was having post partum depression. I don't realize I'm depressed until something (like my meds) gets me out of it and then I realize that I really was down. I've been really stressed out with life in general - work and home, which was causing me to be extremely tired and cranky with my husband. So then he in return gets irritated with me which then in turn makes me feel even worse. My mom finally asked me if I was still taking my anti-depressant because I've been sounding really down lately. So I finally went to the doctor and talked to him. He upped my medicine which I didn't want to do but my friend said I should if it would help me. There's nothing to lose with doing it. So I did and man, I feel alive now. I have so much more energy. So I want to say thank you, Mom.

Job

I'm tired of my job.

I'm not talking about my job as a parent. I love that job no matter how tired I am. I'm talking about my job that pays me. Being tired of this job is showing because I got a call today asking why I'm way below goal. I guess it wouldn't be good to tell her the reason is due to instant messaging my sister.

Family To Do List

1. Be a part of the audience on the Ellen show with Amaya.
2. Go to a Detroit Pistons game with Laurie.
3. Travel Europe with Matt.
4. Vacation in New England with just Matt, Allison, & Isaiah.

This is fun...

Thanks to Amaya.

http://www.myheritage.com/FP/Company/tryFaceRecognition.php

I had fun putting in different pictures of me and having this page find celebrities that look similar to me. There were some odd choices they made. Sarah Jessica Parker? Come on! I look nothing like her. There was a second choice they said I resembled - Jude Law. How funny!

Single Parents

How do you do it? My husband is gone for three and a half days and I miss his help with the kids, I miss telling him my daily happenings, and most of all his warm embrace. I'm so freakin' tired. I commend all you single parents out there especially those with toddlers and infants.

Time to catch some zzzz's.

Obligatory Gifts

So what do you get your nieces and nephews and friends' kids when you have no idea what the kids like? My nieces are teenagers and live in Montana. My nephews are 3 and 7 and live in Texas. My friend's 4 and 8 year old girls live a block away from me yet I don't know what they like. I feel like I have this obligation to give these children Christmas and birthday gifts yet have no idea what to give them.

Okay, so I get gifts for them. When I get gifts for family and friends I like to give presents that they will like and enjoy and I know they wanted the items. I always feel like I have failed when I see the expression of disappointment on their faces. I am; however, pleased when I know I got them just what they wanted.

Then there's the money issue. I spend the money on them and what do I get in return? I usually get a thank you but I don't feel the appreciation from them. So, why do I put the effort and money into these gifts? Obligation.

My Children

I'm having one of those moments where I am so in love with my children. We had a family date night as my sister called it. We had dinner and then we all played together in the living room. Then after putting Isaiah to bed, Allison and I made the biscuit part for the peach cobbler while Matt peeled and cut the peaches. Then I read books to Allison while Matt stirred the peaches and cobbler sauce.

Anyway, I just can't get over how cute Allison is when she says the funniest things and how adorable Isaiah is when he looks up at me with a great big smile. Their laughter makes me smile.

I know I'm being one of those parents who gushes over their kids. Well, if you don't like it you can stop reading now. I'm sure I'll be over this moment when the kids come home tonight and I'm dead tired from lack of sleep this morning (Isaiah up at 3:30am).

Ears & Nose

Well, I talked about feet last night now I'm going to talk about ears and nose. The other night I was reading Happy Baby Friends to Allison. I have no idea why she likes me reading these baby books to her but she does. Anyway, there's a page that shows 'my face' and a picture of eyes, mouth, nose, ear. So I asked Allison, "What do we use our nose for?" She replied, "Getting boogers out and putting them on tissue." Then I asked her, "What do we do with our ears?" She said, "We get wax out!"

That's my girl! The real truth about ears and noses! (I can't help that I have a thing about no wax in ears and using tissue to get boogers out of noses! Which by the way, what got me started on this post was I was blowing my nose this morning and blew out a booger. Isn't that such a great feeling when the boogers come out so easily? Is anyone else like this? Come on, I know you think like this!)

I'll stop now. Some of you are totally grossed out. And Matt deals with this kind of stuff with me all the time. You're just lucky I only talked about earwax and boogers!

Feet Taste Bad

So I stuck my foot in my mouth (pretty deep too) on Saturday at the Beaver game. There's this dad and his son that sit right behind us. They are very annoying because they converse about the game as if they know what they're talking about. Matt can vouch for me that they don't know what they're talking about. Anyway, we all know people who are like that, right? Well, almost half way through the game, I hadn't heard the dad or the son talking so I leaned over to Matt and said, "I'm so glad the dad and son aren't here today." and Matt replied, "Oh, they're here!" What? Oh my gosh! They are here! Man, I felt guilty for the rest of the game and I couldn't look them in the face when I stood to take Allison to get some food. Hopefully they will have forgotten about what I said by the end of October which is the next home game. Well, at least maybe I can get the bitter taste of feet out of my mouth by then.

Happy Birthday Sister!

I'm 32 and you're 27! Can you believe it?

I know you're not sure about God but I am because He sure knew what he was doing when He sent you in my life. And believe me, I really wondered at times why He sent you! I wondered at the young age of 6 when I had to share a tiny bedroom with a one year old. I wondered when I was 9 when I would continuously sing the ABC's to you at night so you would fall asleep. I wondered when I was 14 when I had to scoop dog poop with you. I wondered when I was 17 and you wanted to just hang out with me in my bedroom. I wondered when I was 24 and you were living with me in Wilsonville (that's when I really wondered!).

But I can stop wondering because had I been the last child I would have been a spoiled brat. I would have been impatient with other people's children. I would be scooping dog poop now. I would have no clue as to what my friends would be going through with their younger siblings. I would still be thinking that living with siblings would be okay. I would not have a best friend.

I cherish our friendship immensely. I am blessed (not lucky) to have you as my sister. I thank God that He sent you in my life.

As hard as life can get for you, just remember that one reason you are here is because of me.

I love you!

Happy Birthday!

Yo

I'm here. I didn't write yesterday because it was a crazy day. I took the kids to the childrens museum in the morning. Of course I didn't get out of the house until an hour later than I had wanted to. So we didn't get to spend as much time there as I had hoped and Allison noticed. Then we zipped home so I could work. Yes, I'm working on Tuesdays and Thursdays again. I always feel so rushed on those days. Then after working, I took the kids to the outlet mall to find some clothes for Allison. Then we came home and I crashed early.

Love you all.

Sleep (or lack of)

So for the past month I have been getting up to my alarm at two or three in the morning to pump so Isaiah can have breast milk at day care. Who knew that just 15 minutes of being awake during the middle of the night can wreak such havoc on one's body. Man, I have been so tired because of this lack of sleep. I thought it might be because of the interruption during the night and getting up at 6am. But last night I skipped pumping and still woke up at 6am and I feel amazingly wonderful today.

So how does my father-in-law do it? He worked nights and then come home and sleep for a couple of hours. Then wake up and do whatever. Then he would sleep a couple of hours before having to go to work in the evening.

Anyone able to understand this?

Girl Time

Allison is almost three years old and already she understands the concept of 'me and mommy time'. You know how much she loves tapioca, right? Last night she actually passed up the opportunity of eating tapioca. I gave her the choice of staying home with Daddy and eating tapioca or going with Mommy to get her Beaver cheerleading outfit. She chose the latter. I love that she loves hanging out with me. Even though taking her with me means I will be gone longer (because she has to open the car door, get in her car seat, and buckle herself in by herself and then undo the buckle, get out, and close the door by herself at a 2 year old pace which is a snail pace) I love the time with her. I just hope we will continue to have girl time as she gets older. And older. And more independent.

Autumn

Isn't autumn beautiful? The change of color in the leaves always brings back memories of walking to and from classes at OSU. Isn't funny how one thing can make you remember a year or two of memories? As I sit here in my office amidst a clutter of toys, I look out the window and see the sun shining and colored leaves and I am reminded of my biking to class, students everywhere, the rustle of notebooks and pens in the classroom, and long walks around campus and town studying plants for a test (that's how hort majors study - ha).

Good times.

Hope you have some good memories of autumn.

Football Game, Heat, Two Young Children

I love going to the OSU football games and I don't mind sitting through the heat to watch them. However, it is quite difficult to enjoy the game in the heat with a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 month old. Matt and I spent Saturday afternoon in 80 degree weather trying to watch the Beaver game with Allison and Isaiah. I highly advise to leave the children with a sitter if the weather is going to be higher than 70 degrees or lower than 60 degrees. So that might leave you one or two games to enjoy as a family. The whole experience of Saturday's game might have been worth it had we been winning. As you guessed it, we lost big time. But being die hard Beaver fans, we will prevail through more losses and more games with our two young children. As my dad told me, the game doesn't matter because we're making memories with our children. Go Beavers!

Hello

I know it's been a couple of weeks since I've written. I really need to get in the habit of writing every day so I won't lose you readers.

Well, this blog has helped strengthen my relationship with my older sister, Jill. In previous posts I was complaining that she treated me like a little sister. I felt like I could not talk to her like she was my friend. So I went off on her in the post. She read my post and began to email me and talk on the phone with me as if I was an adult and a friend of hers. Whoa! I was amazed. I wrote her a note and said thank you for making the effort to change. I am really liking this new relationship with her.

This blog has also helped me with another relationship - my friend Randy. In another one of my posts where I was ranting about jealousy, I kept feeling guilty having written it even though she didn't know it was about her. I finally felt guilty enough (due to last Sunday's homily, Fr. had talked about how being jealous breaks apart community.) I had to write my feelings down in a notecard to her. (I love notecards) Anyway, I told her that her friendship means a lot to me and I apologized for being jealous. She emailed me back and thanked me for the sweet card and said she never thought of me as being a jealous person. What? She must not know me that well. Ha!