Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Obligatory Gifts

So what do you get your nieces and nephews and friends' kids when you have no idea what the kids like? My nieces are teenagers and live in Montana. My nephews are 3 and 7 and live in Texas. My friend's 4 and 8 year old girls live a block away from me yet I don't know what they like. I feel like I have this obligation to give these children Christmas and birthday gifts yet have no idea what to give them.

Okay, so I get gifts for them. When I get gifts for family and friends I like to give presents that they will like and enjoy and I know they wanted the items. I always feel like I have failed when I see the expression of disappointment on their faces. I am; however, pleased when I know I got them just what they wanted.

Then there's the money issue. I spend the money on them and what do I get in return? I usually get a thank you but I don't feel the appreciation from them. So, why do I put the effort and money into these gifts? Obligation.

2 comments:

Amaya said...

Yeah, why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to come up with the perfect gift? Especially when our family doesn't give a single clue as to what they want.

Middle Girl said...

Playing catch up here, yes obligatory gifting can be hard to navigate. For younger children you could ask their parents. If they are a bit older and you have a more casual relationship with them, ask about fav things (problem with kids & pre-teens-this changes sometimes by the second).
There's always gift cards to favorite store.
I know of famiilies who only give savings bonds to kids. Or make charitable contributions in their name.
Reciprocation expectations - that's a whole other kettle of fish.