I HATE Losing!!!

Matt and I usually play Dr. Mario on the Wii every night. Usually I am tired and should be in bed instead of playing. However, I can't resist a game of Dr. Mario. So I play and sometimes I lose and sometimes I can win a few. Tonight was like any other night of Dr. Mario. I won the first game by a lot. Sweet! Then he won. Then he won again. And again. And again. The fifth time he won, I had it. I ended the game by quitting and letting the capsules pile up till I lost. Then I broke down and bawled. I couldn't take the fact that I was continuously losing.

Is this pathetic or what? I can't even be a good sport. Why am I so competitive? I know I'm not supposed to ask any 'why' questions. It sucks to lose!

Get to know me...

So I had to copy Amaya and do this thing. There are so many questions that it took me three times (different times of yesterday and today) at the computer to finish it due to interruptions from family. You know how it goes.


1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? 2 car seats, Target canvas bag, & Kleenex box

2. When was the last time you threw up? It was a few months ago, I believe. Just caught a 24 hour bug or something.

3. What’s your favorite curse word? Bitches

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? Allison, Nate's mom, Holly M

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Changing Isaiah's diaper and getting him dressed

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Lying on Allison's bed saying good night to her.

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? I better be sleeping.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club? No. The closest thing I got to was after the Darcelle drag show was over some hot looking guys came and danced around us.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud? Okay, I'll be down in a minute because I need my fix of Dr. Mario.

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? Mint chocolate chip

11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water

13. What was the last thing you ate? A couple of blueberries

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? I bought a light jacket for Isaiah this morning.

15. When was the last time you ran? The other night I was playing the Wii Fit and it has a running thing you can do. (I didn't know what I was getting myself into)

16. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Boston Celtics playing the LA Lakers.

18. Who is the last person you emailed? I forwarded a questionnaire to my friends.

19. Ever go camping? Last weekend

20. Do you have a tan? A funny looking one where you can tell I wear sleeveless, v-neck shirts.

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw? Yes, that's the only way I drink soda.

21. What did your last IM say? 'bye bye' to Matt

22. Are you someone’s best friend? Yes

23. What are you doing tomorrow? Church and hopefully doing something fun with my family.

24. Where is your mom right now? In New Mexico

25. Look to your left, what do you see? A wall with four holes and my file organizer thing.

26. What color is your watch? Silver

27. What do you think of when you think of Australia? Kangaroos and koala bears and kookaburras!

28. Would you consider plastic surgery? Nope

29. What is your birthstone? Beautiful sapphire

30. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? It's 50/50 usually. Sometimes we go through drive through to take food to the park.

31.How many kids do you want? Just the two I have.

32. Do you have a dog? Yes - Monty. He's a hobie (if you want to know what hobie means just ask me) and an oaf.

33. Last person you talked to on the phone? Matt - telling him I was at his work.

34. Have you met anyone famous? I don't think so.

35. Any plans today? Bbq with friends this evening.

36. How many states have you lived in? ID, WA, OR

37. Ever go to college? UCC, OSU, PCC

38. Where are you right now? At my desk in my bedroom

39. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? The heat.

40. Last song listened to? Some song sung by One Republic on SYTYCD.

41. Are you allergic to anything? I guess dust.

42. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? Orange & beige flip flop crocs.

43. Are you jealous of anyone? Anyone who has a boat and is out on the water right now!

44. Is anyone jealous of you? I have no idea.

45. What time is it? 1:13pm PST

46. Do any of your friends have children? Yes

47. Do you eat healthy? Not really even though I should.

48. What do you usually do during the day? It's so up in the air right now since I'm unemployed.

49. Do you hate anyone right now? No

50. Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily? I usually say hi.

51. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? I can't believe I'm going to be 34!

52. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Yes and I love it!

53. How did you get one of your scars? Running from my desk chair to my bed (3 feet) and caught the corner of a metal picture frame. It's almost 4" long (the doctor actually measured it). People think I had knee surgery. Hee hee.

Woohoo!

YES! I feel SO much better after having gotten my meds. Anti-depressant withdrawal is scary shit, man! One could gain a lot of weight with my withdrawal symptoms. I always felt nauseous unless I was eating. My co-worker thought I was pregnant.

Thanks for your encouragement, sister.

Happy Wednesday!

Life these past few days...

Ever since Sunday evening I have felt nauseous. NO - I'm not PG. Sometimes if I wait too long to eat I will get sick to my stomach after I eat. My body is messed up.

Anyway, I woke up at 3am this morning to help Isaiah find his blanket. Then, of course, I couldn't fall back asleep. So, at 4:10am, I get up and go make me a toasted PBJ (yum!). Then I get on the pc and check email and now it's 4:47am and I need to get back to sleep so I can get up in 2 1/2 hours.

Oh yeah, so I forgot that I didn't have any more refills on my anti-depressant. I called to refill the Rx on Thurs when I had one pill left. So I prepared myself for not having my med on Sat thinking the doctor will okay the refill on Friday. Saturday passes with no word from the pharmacy saying my Rx is ready. Monday passes. Damn it! Now I have to call my PCP and get him to okay the refills. Argh. Why do I do this to myself? Other than the nausea (which I don't know if it's from the Rx withdrawal, PMS (that would be weird), or daylight savings time change). This sucks.

Enough complaining. I co-hosted a baby shower for a mom from church Monday night. It turned out nice especially since it was a potluck. Someone brought a caesar salad. Damn, it was good. I wanted thirds but didn't want to look like a pig and plus I had to get the games going.

That's it for now. I'm audi 5000.

"Shove it up your ass, Dad!"

I was having one of those evenings with the kids where they are not happy with me and I am not happy with them. Battle of the parent/child. I'm getting old for this stuff. I told Matt that maybe I had kids too late in life. I also told him that having kids is going to kill me. I have another sixteen years of this battle. I told Matt that maybe I should start drinking but then I would be a worse mother because I would be a drunk. He replied with, "You must not be that bad of a mother since the kids always want you and they tell me, shove it up your ass, dad."
I have to admit that line got me to smile. I disagreed with him but he said it's pretty much true. Poor Matt.

Random Thoughts

How do you know if you need to increase your anti-depressant?
If I miss a day of my happy pill then I can totally tell.
There are some days that I feel like I haven't taken my med even though I did.
What is wrong with me?
I take my medicine and I still feel like a cranky, tired woman.
I know I need to go to a counselor and talk.
Is this really going to help me?
I'm so tired - physically and emotionally.
So why do I stay up to do little things like deleting old contacts in my outlook or posting in my blog?
I had a massage Friday night and it didn't even feel that great. Is that saying something?
I hate that I get so irritated that I end up yelling at Allison, which makes her feel like crap.
Something is missing here.
I love being with my family.
So why do I feel like I would be better off dead?
I don't want to die.
I'm actually scared of what happens after you die.
Some people say nothing happens.
It's just the end.
That's it.
One person described as when you're put under anesthesia.
But personally I believe there is more to it than that.
My soul will still live on.
I believe there is a hell and I don't want to go there.
I believe in heaven and I really hope my soul goes there so I can have peace.
Peace.
That's all I want.
Oh, I really need to go to bed.
Good night.

There Should Be A Law...

One of my older sister's told me there should be a law where no one is allowed to die at holiday time. My mother-in-law lost her battle against uterine cancer on Wednesday, December 5th, 2007, between 9:30pm-10:00pm. She had just moved from the hospital to a nursing home. She and her husband agreed this was just temporary until she regained her strength.

I think she subconsciously knew it was time to go because she insisted on going to the nursing home instead of her home. If she had gone to her home they would have had to bring a hospital type bed into the home, etc.

When we were down for the family get together Allison thought Grandma was still sick. I told her that Grandma went to heaven. "Why?" she asked. I told her that she went to be with Jesus. "Why?" I told her Jesus wanted Grandma to be with him now.

Matt is doing okay. I think Art is having a more difficult time. He has to go through all her things - clothes, projects she was working on (mini scrapbooks, quilt), bathroom stuff (wigs, meds, make-up). I can't even imagine.

I think I would be a wreck if I wasn't on my happy pill.

Thanks for all your support!

Happy Birthday Allison (Yesterday)

My baby girl is 4 years old!
She's got attitude.
She's got spunk.
She's got lots of love.
She's got my heart forever!

Bittersweet holiday

Thanksgiving was an odd one this year. We drove down to Roseburg at 10am Thanksgiving day and had lunch at Shari's (next to our motel). Then we went to the hospital where Royce was and visited for awhile. Then it was back to the hotel for children's naps. Then back to the hospital to visit. Then finding a place open for dinner. We ended up at Apple Peddler. The food sucked. Then back to the motel for bedtime.

http://www.glumbert.com/media/weddingfirstdance

Quote of the week

"I'm talking to myself and you're interrupting me!"

--Allison

Have You Ever?

Have you ever accidentally hurt your own child? Allison was dilly dallying getting into her car seat. She was standing in the car doorway with her hand on the car (the area between the front and back doors). I was putting things in the front seat. Then I closed the front door and immediately saw her fingers being crushed. I opened the door at once and immediately she screamed in pain. I felt so horrible! We went back into the CDC and got an ice pack to put on her two fingers. Thank goodness we were somewhere that had ice packs; otherwise, her fingers would be the size of Matt's big toes. Her two fingers look fine now with just a slight mark of redness.

But man, the guilt a mother feels when something like this happens. Sucks!

Happy Birthday, Sister! (Her b-day is really the 9th but I've got time now to write this)

It started with me holding up doll clothes to Mom's protruding stomach.
Then Tim poked you with a safety pin while changing your cloth diaper.
Then I pushed you down in your crib and when asked by Mom and Dad what happened to you I told them I don't know.
Endless days of playing 'house' and playing at the Piper's house.
Our big move to small town Council.
The 'Golden Gate' bridge in our backyard.
What? I stole your friend, Sharla?
Living in a one room shack for a month.
Trekking on over to Washington into a two bedroom apartment.
"It's your turn to pick up dog poop!" "No, it's your turn!" screamed both of us.
Beautiful Oregon. An even tinier apartment.
Lice. Yuck. Sucked (heh, heh - literally and physically).
Our own house! Our own bedrooms - finally!
Now you know why I was acting crazy in the bedroom?
Birthday parties. Sleepovers. Fights. Hugs.
Goodbye. You're off to Montana while I stay and room with Jill for a few months.
I'm in love. You're in hell.
I'm a Beaver. You're a party girl.
"Problem, Jim?" (I always had issues with people's breaths)
I'm literally on my own in an apartment.
You come to live with me. Thus, I become the ultimate sucker.
You move on and I move on.
We marry.
We mature.
We forgive.
We love.


I can't believe I'm 33 and you're 28!
Happy Birthday! I love you!

Conversation with Allison

Allison: "How old are you?"
Me: "For real?"
Allison: "Yes."
Me: "33"
Allison: "Pretend I'm 34 and you're 33. I'm your mother because I'm older than you."

Later....

Allison: "I'm marrying my baby."
Me: "You are marrying your baby? What does that mean?"
Allison: "It means that you put your baby under your shirt, dress, skirt, or pants. Your baby stays in your tummy for a while. Then you lift your shirt and pop, your baby comes out."
Me: "Oh. Okay."
Allison: "Do you want to marry your baby?"
Me: "Sure."
Allison: "Okay. Put Maura under your shirt."
I put my baby doll under my shirt.
Allison: "Let's put blankets on our stomachs to keep our babies warm in our tummies."

Getting to Know Meme...

I stole this meme from my sis.

Hi, my name is Amy

But you can call me Amy.

Never in my life have I gotten a bikini wax.

When I am nervous my heart beats really fast.

The last song I listened to was I can't remember.

If I were to get married right now, it would be in Hawaii.

My hair is getting long.

When I was four, I don't remember what I did. I guess I just played.

Last Christmas Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus stopped at our house and took pictures with my children and in-laws.

I should be getting ready for bed.

When I look down I see my sexy legs.

The happiest recent event was lying on the football field being tickled by my children.

If I were a character in Friends, I’d be Phoebe because she's comfortable with her quirky self.

By this time next year, I will have gone camping.

My current distress is forcing myself to exercise.

I have a hard time understanding tragic events.

There are these girls that make me smile.

If I won an award, the first person I would tell is Matt.

I want to buy some new bed sheets.

I plan on visiting San Antonio for Christmas.

If I could spend the night at any house, it would be my parent's.

The world could do without Paris Hilton & Britney Spears.

The most recent thing I bought myself cinnamon stix from Auntie Annie's Pretzels.

The most recent thing that someone else bought for me was lunch at Ixtapa.

My middle name is Schultz.

In the morning, I get the kids ready for school.

Last night I played with Allison and Isaiah.

There is this guy I know who is amazingly talented.

If I was an animal, I would be a sea otter because I would get to lounge in the water all the time.

A better name for me would be Aim (my oldest sister calls me this).

Tomorrow will be an early start since I'm doing the Race for the Cure.

Tonight I am going to bed early (hopefully).

Nasty Undies

Matt brought some clean laundry up to our bedroom to put away. He found a pair of my underwear and threw them at Allison saying, "Ew, nasty undies!" Allison, on the bed, asked if they were nasty. I, sitting at my desk near the bed, replied that they were clean. So what does she do? She throws the underwear at me. So I throw them back at her. Thus began the game of Nasty Undies. My goal was to get the underwear to hit her somewhere on the head. Her goal was to just hit some part of me. She was gut rolling every time I got her in the face. Each time we threw the underwear we would say, "Ew, nasty undies!"

Now you know our sense of humor! Hee hee.

Communication 101

Isaiah said 'Daddy' tonight for the first time!

He says the following:

cah = car
dah-ee = doggie
ma-ma-ma = mom

He signs more, water, eat.

He grabs for my hand when he wants me to come with him.

He puts his finger to his lips and nose and says, "Shhh."

He points to the parts of his face when we ask him to. For nose, he touches his nose and then sticks his finger in his nostril. Then he points to my nose and then tries to put his finger in MY nostril.

He hits or head butts my head and then laughs hysterically.

Cheap Ass Craigslisters!

I put seven items on craigslist for sale and listed them at a decently inexpensive price considering the quality the majority of them were in. After a week and a half, I sold four of the items and I had to reduce the prices. I am sorely disappointed because the toys are in such excellent condition that they are worth more than what the cheap ass craigslisters paid.

Who cares if I'm one of those cheap ass craigslisters!

Okay, I'm over it.

B-day

Instead of going to Spokane for a sisters weekend, I decided to stay home and celebrate my birthday with my family. The morning started out with Matt taking care of Isaiah (he woke up early) and then all of us getting ready to go to Corvallis. There was no "Happy Birthday, Mommy." or "Happy Birthday honey". Instead there was the usual "You need to get dressed." and "Where are your shoes, Isaiah?"

I mention this minute little fact to my mom when she called me. So when Allison got on the phone with her Allison listens for a while and then she says to me, "Happy Birthday." Gee, thanks, Mom. She tried.

Finally, in the car, an opportune moment occurs for me to tell Matt, "You forget a lot of things." He gives me that look of "what are you talking about?" I'm not about to tell him that he hasn't wished me a happy birthday. He finally gets the hint and asks me, "Did you see the card on the back of the love seat?" Yeah, right. NO! I did not see it. If I had we wouldn't be having this conversation. I, I, I.

That's how my birthday started but it ended nicely. We made it to Corvallis and ate lunch and played at the park. Then we watched the Beavers stomp Idaho State. Then we went on the field and played around. We hiked back to the car and drove home.

This is a good start to another year!

Is your body smarter than yourself?

So when my body is stressed it tries to tell me by giving me awful looking cold sores or painful canker sores. But I thought I could trick my body by stopping these sores with medicine. Why in the world would the body give itself another stressor? I mean, come on! Hello? The sores just make me even more stressed because I'm in pain! Anyway, I'm veering away from my point of this post. So, I stopped the cold sore and the canker sore. But, mwoahaha!!!!! I wake up one morning to a rash on my stomach. At first I thought a swarm of mosquitoes had bitten me the previous night. But I think I would have noticed a bunch of bugs under my shirt. Anyway, the rash is extremely itchy! But I will myself to not scratch, not even around the patch (hey, I was being a poet and I didn't even know it). I say patch because it is basically a patch of bites with redness all around and it's even a little tender to the touch. Weird. Being my usual self, I have to show someone my physical problem. So I show Matt and he gives this look of dismay and tells me I need to go see the doctor. But typical me I try to wait it out. I give it seven days and then I call and make an appointment. Unfortunately, my regular doctor cannot see me right away so I see the nurse practitioner (that's a whole other post in itself). She tells me this rash is SHINGLES. What? It can occur when the body is under stress. How can one's body be smarter than one's self? Go figure. So now I know what to do if I get shingles again. I can fix it with medicine. If I do that, I wonder what my body will do to me next. Mwoahahahahaha!!!!